How to Stay in Presence When Triggered

A simple, powerful system for staying grounded, calm, and connected — even in moments that normally overwhelm you.

1. The Moment of Trigger: What’s Actually Happening

When you’re triggered, your nervous system flips into protection mode. You may notice:

• Tightness, pressure, heat, or buzzing in the body
• Racing thoughts or defensive stories
• Urgency to explain, fix, or protect yourself

Your goal is not to fix the situation — it’s to stay in Presence long enough for the trigger to release.

2. The Three-Second Presence Pause

1. Freeze for one moment.
2. Feel your feet and take one slower breath.
3. Say internally: “This is a sensation. I don’t need to react.”

3. The Presence Formula

• Notice the sensation — not the story.
• Allow it without resisting.
• Let thoughts float by like clouds.
• Be the observer of the experience, not the character in the drama.

4. The 5-Question Trigger Interrupt

1. Is it true?
2. Is it useful or needed right now?
3. Is it kind?
4. Is this a love note or a bag of dog poop?
5. Who is noticing this? (Return to Presence)

5. When Interacting With Someone During a Trigger

• Do not fix the relationship or the moment.
• Do not argue or explain.
• Do not chase, pressure, or attempt to control the outcome.
• Stay grounded in your body before saying anything.

6. The “Presence Response” Script

These phrases communicate calm, safety, and emotional steadiness — without fixing, defending, or reacting:

• “I hear you.”
• “Thank you for telling me.”
• “I want to understand.”
• “Let me sit with that.”
• “I care about what you’re feeling.”

7. End-of-Day Presence Reset

• Did I return to my body?
• Did I let the story go?
• Did I interact from Presence, not panic?
• Did I avoid fixing, chasing, or rescuing?
• Did I choose warmth over urgency?

You don’t need to be perfect — just present.