I was a bit nervous  to share this but the time seems right now . . .

You never know where you’ll actually end up when you dream.  Back in 2007 I was sitting on a bench in Vancouver’s Stanley Park on the last day of my vacation. I was reviewing my year and seeing how I had achieved most of my business and money goals.  I was doing well and had worked very hard to get to the point of having a successful Integrative Manual Therapy practice in San Diego.

Yet here I was on my last day on vacation, in my favorite city on Earth, waiting to fly back to San Diego and work hard some more . . .

And, I was wondering why I hadn’t found the right woman.  I didn’t have a girlfriend and for a couple years hadn’t even seen anyone I really wanted to date.  But I had just gone a “running date” with Jen.  I had met her in an exercise class, technically a Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement class.  And I had gone on a run with her the day before my yearly vacation to my favorite city, Vancouver, BC, Canada.

And I had just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love and it was and I feel still is one of the most spiritual books I’ve ever read.  It was truly one woman pouring her heart and soul out for everyone to see.  And the last couple of pages in the book were blank pages.

I didn’t think about this or plan it, but I just started writing on the back pages.  I wrote in great detail what my life would look like, feel like, be like with Jen and our 2 kids living in Vancouver, BC with our booming business and friends and family, living our dream life. I just started writing and I couldn’t stop.

I finished it and put it in my pocket and forgot about it.  I didn’t plan on doing this.  It just happened . . .

So I returned to San Diego and actually offered to help Jen move apartments.  It was another “stealth date”.  My friend and later my future,”Best Man”, Martha, quizzed me, “DOES SHE KNOW IT’S a Date? !!!”  And I had to admit, probably not . . .

But, there I was helping Jen move a bed into her new apartment, a 13 minute walk from my house in Mission Hills, San Diego. And I asked her if she wanted to grab some sushi.  Well, that “date” lasted 3 or 4 days.  We’ve been together ever since.

And when we got married in Vancouver, BC, Canada, a few years later, I somehow had that piece of paper in my pocket.  I barely remember even putting it in my suit pocket.  And when we were taking pictures after the wedding, I took it out at that same bench from years before and showed it to Jen . . .

You never know where you’re going to end up when you dream.  But I dreamed and we somehow got to just an hour south of Vancouver, BC in Bellingham, Wa and we’re expecting our 2nd child.  And Friday, December 16th, 2016 we find out if we’re having a little boy or little girl. . .

What’s happened in the past 10 years is not how I would have scripted it.  But the dream is actually coming true. And I feel dreaming it and writing it out was the start of it.  But there was also the doing of it that mattered.  I had to actually ask Jen out.  I had to make the decision with Jen after recovering from a serious condition to move our family to the Pacific Northwest, a place I’ve wanted to live for a very long time.

So many of you have sent me and Jen amazing emails wishing us well and giving us heartfelt stories and advice with the news of our new baby.  So I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  Truly, I appreciate all of you.

It’s been an amazing adventure and if it hadn’t been for a lot of the hardships and almost hopeless times, we would not be up here having made the big move from San Diego to the Pacific Northwest.  So thank you for being with us on this adventure.  I appreciate all of you.


Ralph Havens

p.s. If you’re reading this before June 10th, 2018, you can go to this secret link about our something I did as a special offer to all of you who have been with me over the years.  Here’s that link. Enlighten Up & Get What You Want ~ Master Class


Jen Havens

Jen Havens



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